you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
