What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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