She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
we should paint friendship bongs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
