So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
