he wants to bone in the snuggie
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
