he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
