well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
