I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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