I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
