pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
