And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
