Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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