i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
