I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
