Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize