I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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