dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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