Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
