you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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