You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
