i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
