i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
