i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
