Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
