I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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