do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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