Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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