yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
