I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
