I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
