She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
