new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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