Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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