I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
