Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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