We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
