I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I want to be your penis for a week.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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