I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
