I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
