Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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