Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
