found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
