also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
