You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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