great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
