every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
