My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
