The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
