quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
