She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
