I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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