Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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