i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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