I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
