so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
