I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
