too bad you live with your parents still
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
