Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
