Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
